Larraine DePasquale

  
A gospel quote by St. Matthew says “do not let your left hand

know what your right hand is doing…
for where your treasure is, therefore is your heart also”

Larraine DePasquale, President of TRIO MANHATTAN CHAPTER until her death in 2011,  was the ‘quintessential recipient’ who turned her title ‘recipient’ into vocation, a dynamic living tribute and example to all the donor/transplant community with her adaptability and flexibility to life’s difficulties and gifts.

She had an incredible spirit and energy that sprung forth from the visible reality of her resurrection from death as a recipient, and her gift of second chances was a burning love that overflowed into her work with TRIO. Her advocacy was put into God’s hands and became expandable through her sharing, giving and ‘overtime’.  She took ‘special care’ of donor families and the situations that faced them, answered our calls and renewed us.

With eloquence, confidence and courage, she would speak of her ‘life after life’, and those who knew her or knew of her, would learn and watch her ‘call to action’.  Her life was about newness, restructure and revival. Every breath she took was sacred, her own investment of her life as a recipient.

 

From the day she received her liver until the day she died, Larraine gave back her altruistic gift by dedicating her life to TRIO and to bringing the good news of their life’s proclamation of organ donation. Full of possibility and commitment, she listened and responded.

 

My name is Claudia Grammatico and I am a Donor Mom. My 26 year old and only son Paul was killed along with his best friend by a speeding drunk driver.

 

I was only a few months into my enormous loss when I met Larriane, a moment I will never forget. It was also the same day and first time I met my son’s heart recipient, in front of the altar of St. Patrick’s Cathedral after the Remember and Rejoice Ecumenical Service where TRIO remembers and honors those who have given recipients, the most precious and priceless gift of all…..Life.

It is such a beautiful celebration!  That day I was blessed for the first time to put my hands on the chest Paul’s heart recipient, Joe, and felt/listened to my son’s heart beat, pulsating!

 

What a double header that I also received a double gift in meeting Larraine DePaquale  that would last to a friendship until Larraine's death and will continue because of wonderful memories.

 

Soon after that meeting Larraine contacted me and I, along with my husband, became friends with Larraine and her husband, Anthony, who was the other half of her wonderful advocacy.   My friendship with Larraine blended into my work as a Donor Mom and I was inspired by her to be a ‘mover and a shaker’ for Organ Donation.

Larraine had an incredible passion and unconditional love and her transplant became growth, generous passion, gratitude, compassion with a stronger connection to others making the world a better place by reaching out in creating organ and tissue donation and creating heightened awareness and possibility.

 

During one of our intimate dinners, Larraine confided in me that after the transplant she could not have children. She would have been a fantastic mother.  However, TRIO was her baby, and like a mother nurturing and caring for TRIO MANHATTAN every step of the way-she watched it ripple into tremendous growth. Her love for TRIO manifested itself in her influence all over New York. We all were challenged with the special invitation by Larraine, to be an organ donor and that

one's personal power can shape an outcome and Save A Life.

 

Larraine DePasquale was a Real Living Palpable Miracle!  Larraine DePasquale was a proclamation!   She also had a strong spiritual impact on many folks over the years. She was a woman of great faith and wisdom, affirming, validating, healing, gracious  and all that it leads to in resilience, hope and transformation!

 

Her Gift of Life was also positive optimistic vision and her life and her beloved husband Anthony was a summons of Remembrance and Love. Larraine was married to a very special man who on occasion would tell me how lucky he was the day ‘his Larraine got new life’. So much so that I was convinced that Anthony was also transplanted the day Larraine received her liver!  They never lost passion for their hard work on behalf of TRIO. Together with Anthony, they did tireless work for TRIO Manhattan and were magnificent role model to donors, recipients and to all that met them on the journey. They were a dynamic duo, a ‘two pack’ love story. Just beautiful!

 

Larraine’s companionship and sharing in the beginning of my grief journey became a friendship of ‘life’ to me. Her authenticity, consolation and purpose touched my heart of hearts and helped to ‘reshape’ my strength in  losing my precious child.

 

Larraine would tell me that in my darkest hour I had the power to prolong the life of another. In my darkest moment, life becomes light for someone else. Each recipient is a shared celebration of their donor and their ‘presence and participation’ are triumphs of survival. She helped me to really see the spiritual fabric of who I was and what I have become from the ‘whispered Yes’. Grief shared led to opportunity.

I was able to write the song  "The Gift of Life and Love" in dedication to all Donor Heroes and Recipients.  While creating it, I reflected on what it meant to me at that time in my life to meet so many through Larraine’s connections. My song brought me into many directions and junctures.  It was performed on the altar of St. Patrick’s Cathedral at the Remember and Rejoice Celebration and I can never express in words what that did for me and my own Donate Life mission.  The altar that I stood in front of with a broken heart, meeting my son’s heart recipient would now resonate with my song!  My recipient sat next to me holding my hand! A Miracle in motion and movement! Un Milgaro!

 

Larraine DePasquale was a Great Gift of Life on earth.  An insightful dynamic channel of God’s grace who was a great ‘presence’ and who made her ‘presence’ great.

 

In thankfulness, celebration and joy for Larraine, we are all better because she was, and what she was…to each of us! Larraine is a torch flickering in the face of the world leaving seeds and seedlings,

many permanent fruits. The world will be diminished without her presence. Hers was a unique VOICE that gathered, invited, galvanized, identified and discerned. Deeply rooted in faith she walked the ‘talk’ and talked the ‘walk’.

 

Continually steadfast in her ‘mission’ to educate, spark and kindle in others the urgency beyond ‘self’ to think of others;  now I look to Larraine in her death to be a soul sister,  intercessor and listening heart.  She was a wonderful friend.

 

Her TRIO legacy will continue and her enthusiastic message will continue in the Circle of LIFE. My mind’s eye will always see her standing on the altar of St Patrick’s Cathedral speaking about her personal witness as a Recipient since 6/26/89!  Her kindness, passion for life, tenacious faithfulness and dedication to the Transplant community and Donor families is how she will be remembered.

I will always carry it as rich heritage!

 

Larraine was a First Class Act!!!!

 

Claudia Grammatico

Donor Mom

 

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